These are my rules on how to treat people. I follow them because it’s how I feel best about myself and for no other reason. I have found that staying true to these and other principles has helped me to make a difference at times.
Of course, having FIRM LIMITS is king here and nothing is therapeutic without limits, but so long as you establish them well, these rules are one way to be that can help. As always, all anyone can ever do is provide the opportunity for another to grow. As John Lennon sang, – “There’s no one you can save that can’t be saved.”
1. If you are sad, I will have compassion for you, but I will not become sad for you. (Sympathy not empathy)
2. If you need something I can provide, I will do my best to care for you.
3. If you need to do something for yourself, I, unfortunately, can not do something for yourself. You will have to start doing for yourself.
4. I am going to push you to see what your are made of.
5. I am going to bring up exercise and see if you are ready to be motivated.
6. I will never lie about anything for any reason. I provide complete trustworthiness.
7. You get 100% of my attention while I am with you, but when I leave, I take my attention with me when I go.
8. You will receive true respect. I will never violate you in any way, verbally, physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually or otherwise.
9. I am not going to allow you to kid yourself in my presence. I am going to call you on it when you’re full of shit.
10. I will make jokes, even if they are not funny. But I will try to bring the joy of my life into yours while we are together. It is my way of trying to love you just for who you are.